"Fabric Rose" multimedia painting by Lahle Wolfe.

Not everything we write is good, but even “bad ” songs can still heal us.

"Fabric Rose" multimedia painting by Lahle Wolfe.

“Fabric Rose” multimedia painting by Lahle Wolfe.

It was 1997 and I had recently begun playing guitar again after almost two decades of no playing.  It was good timing — music became an emotional outlet for my anger (and fear) as I worked through difficult decisions and painful emotions. This was the eighth song I wrote as my marriage was collapsing into a bitter heap trying to sort out what I wanted from what I did not want. 

One of the things I learned early on was that we often cannot have what we want.  I wanted a perfect marriage and a loving home for the children in which to be raised.  That path took a wide turn and so I had to adjust my sails.

None of my early songs were good.  They were not about being good; they were just about getting my feelings out where I could examine them more clearly. 


I’m So Tired (The Angry Song) (#8)

July 27, 1997

Intro:  C#m  F# (3)  A G#
Verse:  C#m A B C#m (x3)   C#m  A G#
Chorus:  C#m  F#m (4)  A G#  F# (repeat the entire line 2x)
Solo:  C#m  F#m (6)   G#  A  G#  A

Verse

I’m so tired of playing games to lose
So tired of lying to myself
What can I do to make you be good to me?
I’m so tired of being with you

I’m so broken by your love for me
Got an aching face and it’s easier to see
I’d be happier if you weren’t here
How can I make you leave?

Chorus

I fell asleep with the very first blow
Now I’m so tired I can’t even dream
You lost me a decade ago and I’m too tired to keep holding on

Not all pennies come from Heaven
I don’t need this life anymore
Someone else fixed the door you broke down
I don’t want to do this anymore
Because I’m so tired I can’t sleep
And I no longer dream of you

Verse

I’m so broken by the war I lost
But you even find me in my dreams
Trying to leave you is killing me
The cost much harder than it used to be

I’m so tired of playing games to lose
So tired of lying to myself
What can I do to make you be good to me?
I’m so tired of being with you

Chorus

I fell asleep with the very first blow
Now I’m so tired I can’t even dream
You lost me a decade ago and I’m too tired to keep holding on

Not all pennies come from Heaven
I don’t need this life anymore
Someone else fixed the door you broke down
I don’t want to do this anymore
Because I’m so tired I can’t sleep
And I no longer dream of you.